Spooked

I saw a ghost on the weekend.

I had a good evening out for a friend's birthday dancing at my favourite nightclub. Favourite because they have awesome DJ's and a strict gay and gay friendly patron policy which means I don't have to worry about being hit on by the men there (they're not even looking at me! LOL!). And, I've found I'm not a typical gay women's cup of tea either. When I go there I'm left to enjoy myself and my time with my friends and I'm not be questioned by complete strangers about why I'm "out without my husband".

I was walking from the nightclub to my car, a short distance, on my own. I was heading home for the night, it was around 2am on Sunday morning.

As I saw him, I thought to myself do I stop and say hi, or keep walking and pretend I didn't see him? I stopped and said hi. He replied saying "Wow, its been like 5 years, right?" "Yeah about that, or maybe even longer", I said.

We exchanged awkward chit chat for a little while and he asked me what was new. I replied flashing him my wedding and engagement rings and said "I'm married!". He was speechless, which took me by surprise. I tried changing the subject and he didn't say anything, and just looked at me blankly. So I said "I'm going, sorry, this is too awkward". He said "No, no, don't, sorry. You just told me you're married, you have to give me two seconds to process that".

We chatted a little more, I told him that I thought of him from time to time, but that I didn't expect to see him again after he moved so far away after the horrible, painful way things had ended up between us. I gave him a hug and said good bye, he looked me in the eye and asked me if I was happy. "I am, yes" I replied. "Are you?". "As happy as I can be" he said and then told me to take care.

And I walked away and drove home.

I honestly didn't expect to ever see him again. He wasn't a "nightlife/clubbing" kind of person AT ALL when we knew each other, so seeing him in those circumstances was very odd. It was his different-ness that attracted me to him all those years ago--he was wearing suit pants and a matching tailored vest over a long sleeved shirt, clothes you wouldn't normally see on a 27 year old man. And I certainly didn't expect to see him back in town. That said, I wasn't quite sure how I would feel if I did see him. Before he walked out of my life, even a text message or email from him would make my heart flutter. He had sole possession of me. I gave all I was to him. He ruled me and I made some huge mistakes in my past because of the obsession I had with him.

But seeing him was finite and absolute closure on all of that. He didn't look the same, sound the same, look at me that same or ignite any kind of fire inside me the way he used to. I was just chatting to some one I used to know and who was important to me in a life gone by.

I got home and got into bed with my husband and whispered in his ear "I love you" as I pulled him in close to me. I fell asleep feeling lucky, happy and like a chapter of my life I never thought would be closed, firmly, firmly shut.